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Writer's pictureHannah Kuhn

You Don't Know What You Don't Know

I don't know one person who isn't dealing with something, so why do we assume we're the only ones?

Have you ever seen someone and assumed you knew all you need to know about them? I'm not talking about the strangers at the grocery store. I'm talking about the colleague who sits three cubicles down from you, that teammate on your co-rec volleyball team, or even that roommate who you don't talk to much, but you share a bathroom so how much more personal can you get?


More than you know.


I've been working a lot on my book project recently, especially the portion where I bring up aspects of my upbringing, and while I was writing, the thought kept coming to mind, "if the people from my grammar school read this, I think they would be shocked."


I'm specifically talking about third grade. When I was in third grade, I had crippling anxiety so badly, I was having full-blown panic attacks a couple times a week, and at the end of it all I lost about ten pounds. Yet, I don't think my nine-year-old classmates had any idea.


My mom never gave in (and I am so grateful to that) so I never missed a day of school because of anxiety, and when I felt a panic attack start to happen while in class, I excused myself to the bathroom to go down the list of strategies my mom helped me with.


No one knew the daily war that was being fought in my head, and most people still don't. Maybe that's you, too.


Our department at work was fortunate enough to have a college intern this summer, and during her farewell lunch last week, she honestly shared with us about the burdens and sufferings she has had to deal with the last couple of years, and how our ministry's content that she got to write truly changed her life.


To be honest, I felt ignorant. Because she was such an amazing intern, she was professional, smart, did her work, kept to herself, I would have never assumed she was going through the things that she was, but don't we all know the feeling?


Something that has always frustrated me more than almost anything, is when someone thinks they know me, or someone else, solely off of what they see. Why do people have such a tendency to judge and assume things about people when, if you asked them, they couldn't tell you more than what they do for a living, and maybe a hobby that interests them.


I don't know one human being who isn't dealing with something, to some degree, so why do we assume that we're the only ones with a trial?


My point today is, remember that if someone hasn't invited you to know who they are (a soul-level know), then you can't assume you know them. People are very good, maybe too good, at covering up the "ugly" parts about them that they don't want you to see. But just because you can't see it, doesn't mean it's not there.


She passed the hardest moments alone while everyone believed she was fine. --Anonymous



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