God loves us too much to give us everything we want.
Does anyone else live with the mentality of always looking forward? I catch myself getting stuck in a rut where, every day, I'm treating it like it's New Year's Eve.
I'm embarrassed to admit that I've lost track of how many diagrams and mood boards I've made trying to dream and plan who I want to be (in the future). I've gone through so many pages in my journal trying to find what words I want to describe myself as, what words I want to describe my life, my home, my style, my job, "my aesthetic," if you will.
It's fun to dream, and Pinterest is a helpful companion for dreaming. The problem with this level of dreaming, however, is that it makes me dissatisfied with the life I have now. Suddenly I feel I don't have the financial means I need, I don't have the proper clothing, the job I have is holding me back, my body isn't good enough, my face needs fixing, my hair needs refreshing, and then before I know it I'm feeling hopeless that I will never get to the dream life I have for myself.
To make matters worse, my subconscious starts noticing women who do have my dream life, and how they seem so happy with it in all of their social media photos.
Here's the deal, and it's something I've had many, many, many talks with the Lord about. First of all, "many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord who guides his footsteps" (Proverbs 19:21). Dreams are fun. They spark inspiration, motivation, and encouragement, but I believe dreams need to be held with an open hand.
When I think about the large variety of dreams I've had in my 26 years, I am tremendously relieved and grateful that God prevented some of those dreams from happening. Scenarios like this both remind and humble me that I really don't know what's best for my life. So before I throw a tantrum that God didn't give me what I wanted, I need to remind myself of the times when He saved me from something fatal that was disguised in a beautiful costume.
Our God loves us, and He knows what's best for us; and I am so grateful that He loves me too much to give me everything I want.
Secondly, while dreams are good, when we run too far with them, we become blind and bitter to the present. Wherever you are right now, in life or geographically, you are not in this spot by mistake. You're not in a holding zone, you have a purpose there.
While it's true that every season (no matter how long it lasts) helps prepare us for the next one to come, we are doing so much more than just preparing. The future, while unknown, is exciting because we know God is already there, and while we look forward to blasting into the future filled with (we hope) good change, don't lose sight of where you are right now. God will make it clear when the season you're in is done, so until then, live it to its fullest.
When I start getting antsy and anxious for what's to come, I hear the Lord say to me with his hand on my shoulder, "I need you to do this for me first." Right now, I have a responsibility to be faithful to the things He has given me right now(while I wait for what's to come).
When I focus on being faithful to what God has entrusted to me: Being a good
daughter
sister
roommate
student
employee
steward
friend
apprentice of Jesus
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