Invite God into the messy parts of your life... that's usually where a testimony grows from
If someone asked you to share the gospel, what would you say?
If someone asked you to talk about your faith, what would you tell them?
I remember feeling like I didn't have a testimony because I grew up in church.
The most inspiring and impactful testimonies felt like ones that came from people who had faith stories like the Apostle Paul- once living a life so contradictory to Christianity until God brought them to their knees and they left everything behind to follow Jesus.
It's like the lyrics in Amazing Grace, "I once was lost, but now I'm found," but what about the people who (by God's grace) never experienced that severity of being lost? What about the kids who were raised to know God made everything they see? For them, there was never a time without God: He was always acknowledged on Sundays, Christmas, Easter, before meals and before bed.
It's a gift to be raised with the awareness of God's love and presence, but I remember thinking, "how do I share the gospel with others?" Somehow I felt like telling people the historical account of Jesus probably wouldn't get very far with some people. If someone is skeptical, it sounds like a nice, familiar story from thousands of years ago... But what does that have to do with me? Or you?
In my short life, I've realized the gospel isn't just the story of Jesus, it's who He is to you.
Through panic attacks and an eating disorder, I've gotten to know my Jesus very well. Over the last 18 years, He has used these things to teach me where Truth and peace come from, where my worth, identity and purpose lie, and perhaps the hardest but most rewarding lesson of all, because of Him and Him alone, I am enough and complete.
It doesn't matter what others think of me or call me, His opinion is the only one that matters. Shortly after I was diagnosed with Anorexia, I remember praying to the Lord and asking Him to use this to glorify His name and help others.
That was more than 4 years ago.
One of my favorite things about our God is that He doesn't work on our timelines and He doesn't forget prayers. It's funny how we pray for something we know would be a good thing, and as soon as we say "amen" we open our eyes anticipating that miraculous email, text messages or knock on the door.
God has the power to do whatever He wants, and every once in a while He answers instantaneously like that, but usually and fortunately for us, He's patient to fulfill what we ask in His perfect time.
Within a year of that prayer, I started graduate school to pursue a masters in creative writing. For a year, I studied the best practices for writing and storytelling; Meanwhile learning more about eating disorders, the brain, God and myself (how He made me).
After a year of that, I started the process of submitting my thesis idea and hoped all along that the book I had been working on would get approved as my thesis. I defended it three times before it was officially approved, and spent the next year researching, reading, writing, praying, refining, and editing until it was time to turn it in.
The entire project and story was covered in prayer by a group of strong believers, and I ensured it was prayed over before any major submissions.
"Lord, thank you for this eating disorder and the opportunity to write about it. This is Your story, and so I pray that You would use for good what the devil meant for harm. I pray people would see You through this, and Your name would be glorified."
It's been 6 months since my book was submitted into the school's academic library, and when I read the readership report I'm sent every month, I am blown away by the number of people and countries downloading it...
Last month, I had the incredible honor to be invited as a guest on the Bodywhys podcast- produced by the Eating Disorder Association of Ireland. On this episode, I was prompted to talk about my experience with an eating disorder, the journey of writing a book about it, and where I find my source of incomparable hope.
Having the opportunity, not only to talk publicly about something I struggled privately with for so long, but to share who Jesus is and the unmatched hope He alone provides was a gift I never imagined.
The United Kingdom has been moving towards a very post-Christian era, and so to talk about something more and more people are struggling with consumed with the Truth that more and more people are rejecting was, again, more than a gift.
So again, when someone asks you about your faith, who is Jesus to you? Your friend, protector, provider, teacher, Savior... If you're unsure about what your testimony is, invite God into the messiest situation in your life. Don't necessarily demand Him to fix it... just invite Him into it.
It's usually the messiest situations where testimonies are birthed.
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. (Ephesians 3:20-21)
Thank you for reading :) And if you are interested in listening to the podcast episode, more details coming soon.
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