"It's in my blood" :)

Celebrating a woman with 87 years of selfless service to her family.

I am grateful for this space to not only share encouragement, but also lessons I learn as I go about life. While today's article is slightly more personal, I hope you can still find encouragement from it :)

A couple of weeks ago, my grandma (and final grandparent) joined Jesus and the rest of her family in heaven. It's funny how even when you know it's coming, maybe you even feel ashamed that you slightly hope for it after watching a loved one suffer for so long, it's never any easier-- or hasn't been for me.

I sadly never knew my other grandma because God called her home long before I was born, so this was the only grandma that I knew, and my sister and I were her only grandchildren.

I realized later this isn't everyone's story, but for my sister and I, we were blessed to have three grandparents who viewed us as their entire world. We were fortunate enough to live within an hour of all three of them, and I have wonderful memories of them calling us on the phone to read jokes, ask about school, listen to us practice our instruments, come watch our sport's games, dance recitals, orchestra concerts, and shows.

If they were physically able to come, they did. And they truly made us feel like we could do anything.

From the time I was born until I left for college, my grandma drove 50 miles one way to stay with our family and help take care of my sister and I three out of the five days a week. Sometimes I forget that for the first 16 years of my life, I shared a room with my grandma (I don't remember ever minding it as a teenager, and I know I loved it as a little girl).

Both of my parent's worked so she would cook, clean, take my mom to the train at six in the morning, take my sister and I to school, pick us up, and take us to whatever after-school activities we had. She was the epitome of an adoring grandparent who would do almost anything for her granddaughters (even give in to my sister's ridiculous food requests as a toddler... marshmallows and Cheetos for lunch sounded good to grandma).

When we got older, her favorite thing to do with us was go to lunch and then go shopping (and maybe a coffee on the way since she knew we were addicted).

Her favorite store was Carsons, but she went to whatever store we wanted. To this day when I walk around a clothing store and don't see anything I like, I can still hear her voice saying, "Nothin' honey?" No, not today, gram.

She took so much pride in my sister and me; she wanted to make sure we were dressed to the nines for school with every hair perfectly in place. She was always so generous with her time and expenses, it never seemed like a burden to her, I'm embarrassed to admit I know I didn't tell her enough how thankful I was.

When I think about what I learned from my grandma, I think it would be what felt the most invisible. How to selflessly serve.

I didn't realize it when that was all I knew, but her eagerness and lack of hesitation to help our family with whatever we needed was truly unbelievable... I'll never forget the first time our house lost power in a summer storm, I was 10 years old, and my grandma went to the store, bought us a generator, drove the hour to our house, dropped it off, and turned right back around to drive the hour home.

She was known for those incredible sacrifices, but you never realized how much of a sacrifice it was until much later, because her mentality in the moment was always "but of course I'll do it!"

There are a lot of little things I'll always remember about my grandma; like how she would turn the volume up in the car to an unholy level to drown out my sister and me arguing. Crazy or genius? (It always worked... we always stopped fighting)

She assumed every teenager coming out of the high school in wintertime without a coat was poor, and always wanted to shout out the window at them if they wanted to "sit in her warm car." (Thank goodness she never did that... but it's the thought that counts)

She got her hair done every Friday, and brought donut holes for the receptionists.

When we were little, she secretly let us have ice cream as an after-school snack even though my parent's said "no," because in her words, not mine, "It's healthy! There's milk in it!" (Someone make a sign that says that and stick it in all ice cream parlors)

She loved new things! She loved that for every house she lived in, she was the first resident to live in it. She got a new Chevy every 4-5 years, and she had 30 plus new cashmere sweaters when she was working downtown for the railroad.

Whenever she saw a Red Robbin (bird), she said it was grandpa (who passed twelve years earlier) coming to say hi to us :)

When she took us to her house in the summer, she and our grandpa lived in a gated community, and when we went through the gate, she let us stand on the center council and stick our heads out of the sunroof like a couple of dogs.

She was naturally so clean and organized that she recorded every outfit she wore on Sundays to make sure she didn't repeat in a year. On top of being a housewife, and mother to her two children, she was a secretary to a beloved by many lawyer; so not only did she keep her own house in order, she kept every minute for the family-friend lawyer in order too.

She even went as far as to organize her own funeral arrangements (long before she went home) so our family would know what she wanted... down to every last detail. And as each one of her family members and friends passed away, she made it her obligation to tend to their graves by keeping the grass cut back and the flowers looking nice.

My grandma was one of the last in her generation to go, but I remember for at least a decade before, she told us all the time how she was ready to be with Jesus and the family. I think knowing that was something she desired for such a long time made her passing even more emotional.

After over a decade of burying her husband, son, parents, aunts and uncles, and friends, she was finally with them in the place we long for the most. The place we were ultimately made for, to be with the One we were made to forever live with.

I remember the day my mom told me she had to put my grandma in a specialized home for Alzheimers. That was about two years ago, and even though my life continued in another state, sporadically seeing her and hearing updates for her made those two years simultaneously feel slow and like a blink. It felt like pre-grieving before the actual grieving because I knew the day she went into the home what that ultimately meant.

By the end, she didn't really remember who I was, nor the countless big and mundane memories we made, but I'm grateful that the last thing I remember her saying to me was, "Love you, love you, love you." And I know that was true.

When my sister told me that she was in eternity, I wept for a wide variety of reasons. My only grandma wasn't on earth anymore, I had no more grandparents left, and I knew the minute my sister told me that she was finally seeing our Jesus face-to-face along with her family in a perfect place where there is no pain, suffering, crying, disease or fear. The place I think many of us long for, because as God knows, it's tough down here! And after over a decade of hopefully waiting for her turn, I'm sure she was greeted with the words, "Well done, My good and faithful one."

Life is weird. It's weird to talk with friends my age who still have both sets of grandparents. I have friends who have yet to experience immediate family grief, and my earliest experience with such grief was at four years old.

I think that can be one of the hardest parts of faith; trusting that even if you don't understand it, God's plan is best. It's hard to see friends have pictures with their grandparents at all graduation, weddings, maybe even holding a great-grandchild.

Most of my grandparents didn't make it to my college graduation, and it's hard sometimes to trust God's goodness when He says "no" to something that seemed so good (for everyone) to me-- like having my grandparents at all of my graduations and any future life milestone moments.

But faith is believing what we do not see, and I'm ultimately grateful to any burden or disappointment in life that reminds me my dependence on Him and draws me closer to Jesus. Especially in the waves of grief, I remember how grateful I am in the hope we've been given in Jesus Christ.

Because of Jesus and all He went through on earth, one day (in His perfect timing) I'm going to see Him face-to-face too, along with all my family, with a new body, in a place where the streets are made of gold, everyone lives off of God alone, and there is no suffering or sin of any kind.

If I'm honest, sometimes it makes me sad that I can't be there now, and yet I'm grateful for the immeasurable hope that I have. My grandparents lived long, full lives on earth, and I'm reminded as God had great plans for them, if I'm still here (on earth) it means He has great plans still for me too. So while I wait for the Lord's perfect timing (in every way), I know my job is to do what my grandparents (and many others before them) did; live.

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the fullest." -- John 10:10

I'll remember a lot of things about my grandma, but I think the thing I'll remember most is how anytime Michigan was brought up (the state I went to college in and currently reside in), she always said the reason I ended up here was because "It's in your blood."

After her parents immigrated to America from Finland, they settled in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan on a diary farm. Once they had my grandma, they moved to Chicago, where my family on both sides remain.

However, my grandma spent the first sixteen summers of her life on that farm in the UP of Michigan learning how to drive a tractor and take care of the animals. I remember in college selfishly feeling slightly annoyed because I wanted to feel like I was doing something new and brave on my own.

But now, I gladly accept her kind gesture, that it was my familial, Finnish blood that took me back to grandma's favorite state, Michigan. I hope her Michigan blood isn't the only thing in mine, but that her organization, heart for service, generosity and sacrificial love for her family is also "in my blood."

Today was a long one, so if you made it to the end, I hope you found some hope for whatever you're going through, and as always, thank you for reading :)