Now faith is confidence in what we hope for... and assurance of what we do not see
Have you ever had so much restriction on something you wanted so badly in life? You've tried everything, going after it, leaving it in God's hands, you've read every self-help book and article you could find, you've watched every video, consulted professionals and friends, and yet the terrorizing part is that it feels like it doesn't matter what you do-- years go by and it stays the same.
You're depleted and completely at a loss. You're at the end of your rope, you genuinely don't know what to even do anymore because even trying to surrender it isn't giving you freedom and relief. You've gotten to (or are past) the point of not even wanting it anymore because it's presence is just painful and consuming.
I've been there-- I am there.
It's a beyond frustrating feeling; it's intensity comes and goes and you somehow just learn to live with it. You learn to press through when it weighs heavy in the morning, you fight through the brain fog it puts you through, but it can feel agonizing and unfair when your only life feel partially stolen by it. And worst of all, God feels silent.
With wrath or in weakness, it seems all you can say sometimes is "God, I know I'm not supposed to ask this but why?" Let's get honest about real Christianity and faith for a second.
We know God made us. He wrote our story, He loves us, protects us, provides for us, He is in control of every detail of our lives, He allows good things and bad things to happen for our good and His glory, He hears our prayers, He knows our hearts, He catches every tear in His jar and His Spirit interprets every sigh; He is good-- Now, can you still believe that when you're at your wits end? When you're at a loss, exasperated by all the wisdom you've tried to gain that did absolutely nothing? When it feels like everything possible has been done and yet, nothing?
Can you honestly say that you believe in a God that is good when it feels like what's going on in your life is not?
Most people know this, but it's a good reminder; being a Christian doesn't make you immune to hardships. It doesn't make everything work together smoothly, and it doesn't even mean everything makes sense.
And faith really is (in my opinion) not just believing, but declaring with full certainty that God is good, in control, and loves me, when life feels confusing, hopeless or hard.
Faith is easy when things are going well-- God's good, obviously, because look at my life. But is that faith? "Faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see" (Hebrews 11:1).
What are you hoping for? That your relentless situation will turn out exactly the way you want it to? That if you "do good" God will deliver you the outcome you want? Friends, have faith in the truth that God is working ("assurance of what you cannot see") and put your hope in the truth that it will turn out perfectly the way it is supposed to: For your good, in your favor, and to glorify Jesus's name.
He sees you, He hears you, and He will only allow what is absolutely best for you-- because He loves you. Remember, we see right now, but God sees everything. Isaiah tells us that His ways are not our ways, nor are His thoughts like our thoughts. He is perfect in every way, and we are not.
What you desire may be something God placed in your heart for a reason, and if so you can have confidence that it will come to fruition in the perfect time; And if not, you can trust that God is ensuring that you only receive what will be good for you and your growth to be more like Christ.
So when it almost feels laughable that you (and others) have tried everything in your power to make your dreams come true, picture Jesus reigning over everything; observing your efforts and gently pulling you aside to say, "I know, I know. I see you, I hear you, and I care so much about you, but my plan that I have for you is just too good to not happen."
Remembering this should give us the peace that surpasses all understanding. And in the meantime, trust what God is doing through this pain-- He is using this too. And ask Him to give you the grace that you need every single day in whatever you're carrying or facing. Remember that pain and trials are never wasted, but rather used for a much greater purpose, and they mold us into the most refined, mature, godly versions of ourselves.
I want to leave you with the verse that I have felt compelled to over the last 4 years:
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6)
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