Does It Really Matter?

Whether my dreams came true, or my hard work paid off, living with Jesus was all that mattered.

I discovered a song recently (maybe it’s actually old, I’ve never been one for keeping up with the trends), and I’ll be honest, the first time I heard this song, the line “it can be a hard, hard thing just being alive” is what stood out to me. But the second time I listened to it, the line, “there’s nothing you need to prove; because heaven knows your name, there’s a reason you were made” really stuck out to me. 

If you want to listen to it, it’s called “You” by Apollo LTD, but I love how honest the lyrics are– on both sides. Because yes, life is hard. It’s unpredictable, it rarely makes sense, it’s hard to know sometimes what we should do, and we never truly know what the next day brings. 

Jesus even said in John 16:33, “in this life you will have trouble,” but he also says, “but take heart [have courage and confidence] for I have overcome the world.” 

There’s a lot of Scripture and theology between that verse and the lyrical line “there’s nothing you need to prove,” but the mind-altering reminder here is, because of Jesus we have one purpose for being here– and it’s not to become rich and comfortable, famous, educated, or respected; it’s to live for and with Him. 

I don’t want to discredit what anyone’s going through because that’s not biblical either. Jesus knows the relational, medical, spiritual, financial, career, or familial burden you’re going through, and not only that but He cares about it too. 

1 Peter 5:7 says, “cast your burdens on Him because He cares for you.” So I’m not saying it doesn’t matter, but far too often I find myself fully consumed and drowning in my burdens and crushed hopes. And when that happens, my mind is so emotionally, mentally, and spiritually off because I’ve lost sight of what truly matters. 

Especially in wintertime because it’s cold and dark, I’m overwhelmed with the thoughts of how will I financially support myself in the future, what if “this” happens, what’s going to happen if “that” happens, what will I do if “this” doesn’t happen, and I’m constantly trying to plan for an unknown future just to “cover my bases” and have peace. 

But that’s not where peace comes from. If it did, I would have found peace over a decade ago. And when I spiral like this, I’m humbly reminded, why am I worrying about all of this when I’m not even guaranteed tomorrow? 

It sounds harsh, but it’s true! Why am I worried that I won’t be able to bless my parents with something they deeply hope for someday– to be grandparents– when God says, “All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one came to be” (Psalm 139:16), and “For I know the plans I have for you,’ declared the Lord. ‘Plans to prosper you, not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11). So “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5). 

Friends, heaven knows your name (and that’s Scripture too, Isaiah 43:1), and there’s a reason you were made. Life is hard no doubt– we’ve all had many moments that were discouraging and disappointing; moments that didn’t make sense. 

But God’s Word also says, “Be anxious for nothing” (Philippians 4:6) no exceptions. I’ve had a few moments in life where the feeling I’ve gained in the moment is one I wish I could hang onto forever: and it’s the indescribable, overpowering, positively overwhelming feeling– despite all that may be happening in and around my world– nothing other than Jesus truly matters. 

My health, my future, and every detail about that unknown future is completely surrendered to God and instead of having a death-grip on how I hope everything turns out, my attitude softens to, “God, whatever happens, I just want You.”

I usually prefer to keep this story of my life private, but for story-sake I wanted to share. One of these moments I referred to above was when my mom had to have a very serious emergency surgery. 

Sitting in the waiting room for hours amongst many others who have no control over their loved one’s life, watching your family member’s number slowly climb down the process table on the television screen changes you. 

I remember sitting with my dad while he read, and I spent the majority of the time observing others and talking to God.

I remember thinking everything I worry and think about on a daily or weekly basis just didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. Whether my hopes came true or my hard work paid off one day, living a life for and with Jesus was all that felt like mattered. 

I also remember realizing in an unfearful way, that life is so short, it’s so fragile, and it really is such a gift. Gaining that perspective and remembering the moment I was given that perspective changes the way I live and think in an instant. 

So, how will you spend your one short, fragile and gift of a life?