"I am the true vine, and My Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful." (John 15:1-2)
Last week, the sermon at church was about, "What do you do when God prompts you to be still?" Being we're in the Advent Season, pastor was referencing Luke 1-- specifically when God forced Zechariah to be silent (and still?) for not believing what the angel Gabriel told him and his wife Elizabeth.
After decades of desperately wanting a child, God chose them, against the odds, to be the parents of John the Baptist. Elizabeth accepted faithfully, but Zechariah doubted the biology. In the words of my pastor, "God took Zechariah out of the game, not because He didn't love him; because He did, and He needed to set him aside for a while to prepare him for the next play."
In his silence, he spent his time marinating in God's Word and becoming overtly confident in who God is. By the time his son was born, his first words were bold declarations of praise for who God is. Zechariah did not waste his time being still.
About a year ago, I determined my word (or phrase) from God for 2023 was "be still," specifically from Psalm 46:10. "Be still and know that I am God." I didn't know what that would mean or look like until I was consistently prompted to remember to be still in various situations this year where "still" was the last thing I wanted to be.
2023 entailed a lot of loss and uncertainty; my home church, a community, a lot of friends, health, and peace with my mom's recent urgent surgery.
Especially last winter, there were days when I sat slumped on my bedroom floor but couldn't even cry. Sad didn't even begin to describe how I felt. How do you put into words the feeling that you are not good enough, accepted, or wanted for who you are? I felt hollow, raw, unwanted, irrelevant, betrayed, used and left out to dry.
Even if I wanted to do something about any of it, I had no energy to do so. Isn't it interesting, the narrative that our world constantly gives us? If you don't like something, change it! You have the power to change your life.
Whether it's our jobs, our bodies, or our relationships, we're constantly, and urgently, told to change what you don't like. But what's even more interesting is that the Bible has a consistent theme about being still.
"Be still and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10), "The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still" (Exodus 14:14), or "The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still" (Psalm 27:14), to name just a few. The truth is it can be really hard to be still sometimes!
An anxious spirit keeps our minds from resting, there's always something on that to-do list, and let's face it, we're human beings-- we find worth in productivity. But last winter especially, my mind, body, and heart was given no choice but to be still.
For about five to six months, my morning Bible time quadrupaled in time, I went on a walk everyday after work, no matter the weather, just to talk (and sometimes cry) to God, I filled the back of my door with God's promises that I wrote on post-it notes, and I focused on taking care of what felt like my broken body and mind.
In a way, I fetl like I disappeared for a few months, but in the quiet, God was acting like a brilliant gardener, shaping me into who He desired me to be.
John 15:1-2 says, "I am the true vine, and My Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful."
My dad (my earth-side dad), is a certified arborist so he taught us a lot about tree care growing up, and thanks to him, this metaphor Jesus uses always made sense. Dead branches on trees don't do anything good by staying on a tree. They suck the nutrients the tree needs to survive and thrive, and they hinder any new branches from growing, or existing branches from growing bigger. Did you know that dead branches can also harm a tree when a storm comes?
I like to think the Lord kept me still in 2023 so he could cut the dead branches from my life that were hindering His plan. It hurts to remove something that was once there, but when the removal is done right, it always heals to become stronger.
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