"Therefore the Lord is waiting to show you mercy, and is rising up to show you compassion, for the Lord is a just God. All who wait patiently for Him are happy." Isaiah 30:18
This was the verse I woke up to this morning in my daily devotional. When I said life felt like a valley a few weeks ago, I never dreamt the valley would get deeper. But it has. I don't know about you, but I'm feeling pretty hopeless right now. It's hard to write things down that I'm grateful for everyday when every week something is taken off the list. Nonetheless I believe the practice of identifying things we're grateful for is important right now, even if it takes a little extra effort.
Sometimes it feels like we're losing everything, and it's hard to be patient and hopeful. I see no physical way for the things I planned and hoped for to happen, yet there is a pebble sized feeling of hope because I know our God can do anything. He is the way maker, promise keeper, light in the darkness- and nothing can stop His plan from happening. Maybe He's even using this as part of His plan. I don't see how it's possible, I just know nothing is impossible with God.
As if life didn't already feel uncertain as a college senior, it somehow feels even more uncertain now. These long days of quarantine allow for too much time to think. I think about my last semester and how much I miss my friends, I think about the fate of this world, I think about the fact I don't know where I'm going after college, I think about the things I feel like I lost, and it gets very, very, very overwhelming. Anyone else?
So how can we hold onto hope, and have patience in The Lord? Isaiah says those who have patience will be happy. But what does patience really mean? I was thinking a lot about this recently, because all this time I thought I was being patient! But I don't think I was. Patience means waiting and trusting that God has everything under control. Patience means giving up your control, and knowing with certainty that you can trust God. And patience means not expecting an answer tomorrow. I think the things we need to be the most patient for require us having patience for a long time. And yea that's hard.
I know I was saying "I trust You, God" but my actions weren't matching my words. I was still trying to take matters into my own hands and you know where that got me? Nowhere. Every time I tried to take control, it ended up with me feeling even more hopeless and exhausted than when I started. So while I know it's hard, friends, don't just say you trust God... actually do it.
In these times, I think practicing gratitude and having a routine is important. I'm practicing gratitude with a friend and my journal. Here are some of the things I'm grateful for today:
1. My family is together and healthy.
2. The sun is out today and the weather is getting warmer (Chicago has been cold & cloudy)
3. God provided food today
4. All 4 of us in our family are able to continue working
5. My room is a safe and comfortable place for me to write, create, relax, and pray.
What are you thankful for?
God is still good. He is a just God and He is not cruel. He wants to show us compassion and He will get us through this. As a writer, who believes God is in the details, I look forward to the incredible stories I know there will be when this is over. Have a blessed day :)
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